Ramani Aunty

Some one rightly said - Like two shapeless blocks of wood meeting and departing in  a mighty ocean, such is the  union of souls  on this planet .

Ramani aunty was our family cook for over two decades . In fact , when we look back , we feel that she was an angel sent down to earth for us at the right time for the right job.
Pa had led a busy active life for over 4 decades . His job took him a lot on transfers outside our town . Mum managed to bring us up single handed . He had retired a short time ago . He was slowly getting used to a relatively slow paced family life with mum . Transition time is never easy .
My mother fell ill due to heavy diabetes at the tender age of 58. Her leg had to be cut due to gangrene . My brother and I were far far away busy with our lives . She was totally bedridden during her last few months . Pa had a tough time managing alone .
Household chores like cooking , cleaning, dressing including feeding mum was too much for him . Finding proper help was not easy . This was before the internet and smartphone days .
One day , one aunt brought a lady home . She was in her late 40s . Our far off relative , She was homely and domestic to look at . There was an immediate trustable quality about her .
Pa agreed to keep her as a housekeeper partly because he had no choice .
In just a matter of days she became a part of our family . She managed cooking , cleaning plus feeding mum. Pa still had to change her nappies and dress her up .
Ma passed away in a couple of months. Pa was devastated . A lot of long lengthy rituals followed. Ramani aunty was every where then helping our every one with every thing . We tried our best to divert his attention . Our own families were growing . Both my brother and myself had to shift countries and continents for our careers .
Despite our pleadings he refused to move in with us . His house in Hyderabad was his abode and heaven . He would often visit us but preferred to keep his base in his own house . Ramani aunty became an essential part of his single life . She was the link between yesterday and today for him.
She was cooking in other homes too . But ours was the main home for her . We trusted her blindly and she repaid us with gratitude . She was the natural inheritor of a lot of clothes, vessels and even some jewels of ma . We handed lot of mum's hand me downs over to her without a second thought .
Each time we went to Hyderabad , she would regale us with stories about our mum in her final days . Since both spent their childhoods in Chennai they had a lot in common . She told us things about mum which we ourselves didn't know .
We visited Hyderabad regularly some times twice an year. The earliest memories of our kids in their grandpa's house was Ramany aunty feeding them . She had no children of her own but she had great patience . She would take our kids for walks , feed them meticulously , take care of them while we were away on shopping trips .
Of course she had minus points. She would often ask for money citing some health or family problems . We obliged but usually had to write that off .
She was never an outsider . Be it buying some designer clay pots for our new homes , going to the bank for some finance transaction , investing in costly new furniture , shopping for our family rituals and functions ... We consulted her by default . She was a ubiquitous presence in our pa's house in Hyd .
Sad , she was not designed to have a happy family life . Filled with economic and health problems, her worries were mounting . She lost a couple of family members very close to her in quick succession .
A few years back she was diagnosed with a throat tumor . Probably for the first time , She took a long leave of necessity. She was well known and liked by all of us in our community . Financial help poured in from hundreds of houses .
To our relief , she returned back all jubilant in a few months fully cured of cancer. The new Ramani aunty became a bit more fragile and got tired more easily . But she was very much welcome in our home . Neither of us saw any difference in the others' attitude .
Some of her employers stopped calling her for cooking due to this . She started some small tiffin service to keep her home fires burning .
Ours was one house which was her second home . She herself used to say - " I feel more free in this house " .
All our relatives knew her very well . After all , 2 decades is a very long time . I remember her making more than 100 rotis unflinchingly during a family function. Our house was swarming with guests . Lunch .. condiments .. snacks .. refreshments were flying non stop hither thither . She was so quiet that not many noticed her . Her hard work showed in her tasty cuisine . Though not highly educated , she was very mathematical in her approach . When any new patron came asking her to cook , she would draw her time table , bus and train agenda and plan her visits meticulously . If home cooking was not possible , she would cook from her home and carry it to their house . She never refused any new home ..new work .
She was given a free hand in grocery shopping in many homes. In return , She would try new recipes from TV and books in our kitchens. We were amused and consumed them though not all culinary trials culminated into a success. She would often confide her problems in us . We could only help her financially .
Sadly a few months back the tumor returned. Since her job mainly involved cooking , again , she lost some houses because of her ailment . Already slender framed, she began shrinking even further . A couple of sudden fainting spells later , pa asked her to take rest at home with full pay . 

We were still hoping that she will bounce back . 

We don't even remember when and how she became bedridden. It was a gradual sad shift . Her limbs gave away. Then she lost her speech . One by one her senses betrayed her . We often compared her to our own mum . It is not always a question of only money or medicine . It's about bond and care . I think one fine day she woke up and realized there's no reason to live . No children , a missing husband , mounting debts , her remaining family trying to milk her ailment for money ... The very people she worked hard for , left her , deserted her during her final days. In fact ,we used to pray that she leaves this selfish world soon . Every time we visited her house to check her condition, a dozen creditors would be swarming nearby .
Out of the blue , we got news that yesterday she passed away. Finally her strength gave away . How long will she fight for herself in this greedy world? Our first feeling was of great relief. She had suffered enough . All's for our good . She is now at peace . She is getting all the rest she deserves finally . She's with mum - both old girls chatting about their childhoods again .
Bye Ramani aunty . Say Hi to mum .

In defence of the match maker " aunty "

So I have been entrusted with finding a match for my third cousin .  Goshhhh now  This is new to me . A few months back my aunt  called me up and told me details about her son who is living in my  present city since an year now .  He has a very  rich CV with degrees from high level  institutions including from  one ivy league university . I have never been given this task before .
To be frank ,  I was a bit taken aback  but feeling  privileged to  be allocated such a delicate and important errand.
 Not knowing how to start , I have started giving his details to my close associates to help me out .
You see the complication - he still doesn't know  this intention of mine    and I don't want him  and the  world to think that  I am your typical match making aunty.

Me ? a very intelligent /go getting / diligent / hardworking / aware / career oriented / young /regular woman next door ? a match making aunty ?

Its a common phenomenon to   smirk or giggle at    this ilk  . we see them everywhere - in parties/ dinners / weddings / balls / banquets / functions ...
They see an eligible candidate   in some such fetes and they start  getting details  /  running  sequential  queries in their fertile minds /  playing mix and match games mentally / trying to 'fix' them with other singletons .
Majority of them are ladies ( I wonder why ) .
They are subject to much sneer and leer.
I too have chuckled quietly at these people who are trying to "set me " up  with some male I have never seen or known.
Our attitudes / outlook towards life changes with our role changes.   One fine day  , The  pampered daughter  becomes the  concerned mother ,the  carefree student becomes the  strict teacher ,
the ward becomes the guardian .
 Two decades back I was one such focussed , career minding single girl in the big bad world of Bombay ( today Mumbai).  I have led the high life  when still internet / mobile phones  were just teething .  I have lived alone in  costly hostels and studio apartments for years . My   parents used to send me photos of eligible boys and remind me every few months that I am going old and I should get married ASAP. On my 24th birthday I remember my mother calling me and literally weeping in the phone - " you are going to be ALL of 24 . you HAVE TO get married before 25 . why don't you like any boy I refer .  Word is getting around in our community in this town that you are growing proud and haughty because of your earning status . If this persists, you will never get married. That cousin younger  is already a mother . why O why .. "
I lived in literal dread of  such calls and letters .

You tend to grow up quickly when you are on your own .
One by one my friends started getting married .some even got divorced equally quickly making me think about the sanctity of the bond .
I remember falling sick once very badly . I was bed ridden for 2 whole days and had vomited  over myself more than once, soiling my bed horribly  . I could not even go and get my medicines from the cabinet which was just 10 feet away. finally  after  2-3 days I mustered up some strength and came back to life . I had to clean the whole thing myself and stand on my own two feet all by myself .  With no one to talk to  , no one to even get me a glass of water , life was hell then.  I know life when you are on your own.  I didn't tell this to my parents as I knew they will worry themselves to no end .

Truth be told ,  each time  I was home on some holiday , I had diligently attended  some " bride seeing " sessions in my house   with families ( and extended families in some cases ) of both sides chatting " nonchalantly " for several hours .  There have also been instances when  " just the two of us " met over a cuppa  .

In some cases the boy's party agreed instantly but I had refused .
I just didn't feel connected to any of them  and didn't want any alliance just for the heck of  it -no offence meant to those boys or their families .
Finally , just before my 25th birthday ( just like my mum wanted )  , I got married and now am a mother myself .
Only now I am able to acknowledge  the worry and concern of a parent.
As a guardian you want a secure life for our wards . not necessarily a rich or luxurious life but a comfortable one  at least .
Man is the only creature which worries about its offspring till he dies. birds / bees /animals / flora and fauna give birth and go about their own lives. Probably mammals like elephants / cats care for their infants for a few years till they are suckling and then the little ones are on their own.
Its natural  that a  parent is always worried  with questions like what is my child doing out in the big city all by himself  ? what if the train is very  late  ? what if he falls sick ?  what if the water electricity is not working ? does she know how to fix that leaking pipe ? what if there is some robbery in the   house ?
what if  she  runs of food stock in his fridge ?  who is he sharing his flat with ? what kind of people are coming to her house  posing as friends ? so on and on and on ...

Marriage is a wholesome package . It provides security  and bond . But this blog is  not a lecture about marriage  but I am defending those who try to find matches for singletons.  they are not  just interfering ants  . Their intentions are only to help.  Its easy to say - mind your own business but with today's  jet setting lives , individuals get little time to interact outside their realm . Dating sites are always there but its safer  to go through some known channel .
Gone are the days of horoscope matching , bride "seeing " , getting the correct wedding date from the family priest etc.,
Personally I dont think  marriage is a dying institution .  It will be there as long as humanity is around on this planet.
Coming back  to my new role , I am calling him for  collective dinners / gatherings with  other friends which include eligible girls and   introducing them. With his credentials ,he will prove to be a good match. They can meet later for a cuppa by themselves and take it from there .  Heres hoping that something appealing will click soon . Meanwhile , If and when he finds out  my intention , hope he does not develop any animosity towards me . I am only trying to help , you see ..

Narcissism and all that .

Recently   a  world famous  lawyer  ( Amal Clooney ) ,  the wife of well known actor of Hollywood  ( George Clooney )  was in news because she gave a speech  about displaced people in United Nations .  Needless to say  it was an astute  ,  sensitive speech. I have secretly admired her for being an over achiever at such an young age .   Must say - shes a prodigy of sorts .


Many bloggers and articles came out in a flurry , appreciating her  well maintained slim  , trim frame / her   lustrous hair / her figure / her baby bump /  her poise etc.,  I thought all of these  articles were well deserving  to a brainy  young woman.

Within a matter of hours another flurry of articles and blogs came out rebuking the former type . Many were plain angry with the way every one spoke only about her physique and how  there is not much mention of how and what she was speaking  on etc etc.,
Its not a cake walk going to UN and speaking in front of  dynamic intelligent  movers and shakers .

Personally , I cant see anything wrong with  the way they spoke about her   frame  and physique . I thought it was a  huge compliment to a well bred  / brilliant  lady .
If I  say I like blue,  it does not mean I hate green  .
 If I say a girl is good looking , does it mean that shes an idiot  ?
 The founder of a famous fashion house once said - If the woman is well dressed and chic ,  they  focus on her  form  and frame  , if shes plainly dressed  and drab , then   they pay attention to what shes speaking .

Is there any rule that some one cant be pretty and  perspective  at the same time ?
Dressing  , carrying oneself changes the way we carry ourself .  its not just the dress its also the  grace and poise  with which we carry ourselves.
The content AND the handwriting both matter .

A few decades ago a well dressed woman was deemed ( and rightly so ) to spend hours in front of the mirror  preening  herself.  Those days they didnt have so many easy-to-use  ointments or cosmetics  coming in various sizes which can fit in our hand bags .   So it was assumed that she spends a longer time caring for herself and being vain .

Today it takes just  a few minutes to get ready and be on the go .

Its the peer pressure which makes up a large part of how we look .
Of course we dont want to be called dandies  , frillies  or narcissistic  .   At the same time  we dont want to be called plain  Jane , dull or  moronic .  By  instinct , we tend to approach  a well presented person than some one  sluggish .
If you don't present your self  in the contemporary manner , it  speaks of  disillusionment /  disenchantment / depression  with life in general.

Looks matter . The cosmetics / fashion industry is formed of a large number of honest hard working tax paying populace .

When some one comments on our  form or physique why cant we just take it as a  well deserved compliment  ?

An encounter with a beggar in Paris ( among other things ) ..

Watch this space for more ...

My last blog on  Paris was 3 years back. this blog is not about Paris per se but about  the people living on  the  fringes  of the city - Beggars / streetwalkers / vagabonds / gypsies / idlers / destitutes  / wastrels  ..
The under written are my own thoughts and  observations . Hope I don't sound judgemental or critical .

Having lived in London for a decade , these tramps are not new to us . They are found in every nook and corner in India and other neighbouring countries  for sure . But when I  came to London  I  came with stars in  my eyes .  It never stuck me that big cities  too might have their share of  these vagabonds .  Those days they were innocuous  , some even apologetic .   I also ended up exchanging friendly familiar smiles with the regular ones. One just gets used to these harmless men and women politely asking for money  or food at traffic signals I suppose .
The early 2000s were the days of the  " pre   unrest  in the West Asia and East Europe "days.
When I came to Paris in the  2007 ,  I did expect a fair share of mendicants in the main streets. It has increased 10 fold in the past year .
Initially only the city centres used to be focus of these tramps but of late they have started penetrating areas outside  too  a few KM outside  from the  main city . Only the congested cities  in and around Paris used to be corrupted with   mendicants  but now no place is safe .
Muggers/ pickpockets / thugs are lurking around everywhere  and whats more , its tough to identify them .
Previously you can make out a person with evil intentions a mile away thanx to his unkempt look / scruffy hair / awkward gait / darting eyes ....
Today they are well dressed with costly but ill-fitting  clothes  and shoes ( all  embezzled of course )  and just take a stroll in residential areas in small groups taking a closer look at windows and houses when they think that no ones watching .  Many such streetside  rustlers in Paris and other big cities drug their children or train them to go and ask money.  Its scary to stop at traffic signals . They also carry a placard citing  " Please help us . we are a  decent family from  < insert the latest country which is having a turmoil > country  "
Villages around our residential areas have been victims of  break-ins more than once . Holidays and vacation times are most fertile seasons for thefts .  The police is most helpful  and sympathetic but what can they do anyways. they surely fix your broken pane or door for free .
I myself have been mugged  a couple of times  by small bands of sweetly giggling   teenaged girls .
Yesterday I met this cute young woman  who kept on chatting with me in the train station .I was travelling to La defence which is the centre of Paris .  She said she's from Algeria and was here with her two girls who had come for some operation one year ago.  she sounded all normal .  Once inside the train , she slowly asked me if I can get something to eat . I  realised  her intentions and told her I don't have any cash , albeit if she can come with me to  la defence  I can  buy her food . all through the  journey she was interested  in my family / jewels / dresses ...  Each time I asked about her daughters she would manage to talk about something else .  She only spoke Arabic  .  I had a tough time interacting with her .    But Very clearly , she  has overstayed her visa .  Her    " poor - little -thing "  image was slipping off   by the  time we reached our destination.
once we reached the station , I asked her what she wanted to eat .sweetly she led me to an ATM and told me  I can withdraw cash there and she  " does not mind "  having cash in place of food .
many of these  so -called  have-nots gamble away their money  or are addicted to substances . Why indirectly fund their  vices ?
equally sweetly I told her I can only buy her food else she can go elsewhere .  She became all quite suddenly .  I bought her some buns for 25,00 Euros  she was all sulky pouty by the time I finished paying the bill .She then wandered off needless to say to find another " patron " or  benefactor who will gallantly  give her some liquid cash .
liquid cash  in hand  temps many  evils .
anyway my good deed of the day was done and I walked off .
I know several people who have outstayed their  welcome like this and resort to  undesirable money making activities like pilferage / robberies/ begging / snatching ...  The state has many schemes to fit these people in the  mainstream  but these clans deliberately  live  on the brink away from the  regular stream .  They are invisible as far as the  prime society is concerned.  Truth be told , I myself know many people who have integrated into their host countries gratefully  after escaping from a  ravaged region .  They might start at the lowest rung but have slowly risen above with disciple and  control . they now indulge in a lot of charity activities to show their  obligations  and acknowledgements .
some of  these  so-called impoverished are from countries which had heavy battles for the past several decades but now have  come back to normalcy . they refuse to leave  saying they are used to this country for 30 odd years  and live  on public benefits . I personally find them most undeserving .
I can narrate first hand instances of  " training sessions " for these  undesirable  bums going on during non peak hours in underground metros or sparsely populated places .

Not just tramps but  the city and surrounding areas are abound with  street walkers even during peak  office hours . I often wonder how  all of them find takers .  Paris has a thick foliage in and around  .  The   region  around these mini   forests are fertile with men and women playing hide and seek  with the motorists  on  the  main road . They are found hanging colourful plastic covers to the trees  behind which they " hide " . some of them have several plastic covers hanging .   Insiders have told me that the colour of the plastic cover   announces the various services they offer .
At times  I do pity  them standing like this in harsh weathers looking for pickups to fund  their next meal.
Religion /race / caste/ creed/ region  does not matter.  The  mean streets are the most secular of all places.  they are all driven by necessity or needs  (  in many cases , self inflicted  ) .
I have friends and associates in all religions /races/ castes/ creeds / regions . Its the status which matters. We see eye to eye on many issues . We can chat for hours together without bringing our  doctrine into the conversation .
 So its not fair to pin point a particular region or race for these  abominable activities.
The ultimate rule of the thumb is that we need to be careful. prevention is better than cure . A good trick which helps you in many cases is keeping a flashy  wallet  openly in your  hand bag with false notes and a smaller obscure looking one deep inside with  genuine essentials  .  When any one asks you for money , try not to  escape too much depending on the crowds around you . Some of them are armed and dangerous  even in crowded places .  A needle prick is all it takes to numb you .  Your limbs /  life is more precious than a few pennies. Better to part with some money than  showing bravado    and  fall in danger trying to avoid or dodge  them .

Medical marvel .. fertility etc.,

A few days back, I read about a medical miracle that occurred in the Indian city of Meerut. I understand that a ‘genetically male’ woman has given birth to twins.

A 32-year-old ‘woman’ had a rare hormonal conditional where she looks like a woman but is ‘almost’ a man. She did not attain puberty and has never menstruated. Her uterus was underdeveloped, her ovaries were non-functional and that she had an unpronounceable condition called “XY gonadal dysgenesis “(whew that sure was a mouthful). In short, ‘her’ body was not designed for natural conception or to hold a nine month pregnancy. She went through a series of complicated procedures over a period of three years to make this possible. Embryos were developed with donor eggs (they were not her own) plus her husband’s sperm and implanted in  her uterus, which was ‘built’ or ‘strengthened’ surgically. I have very little knowledge of terms like ovum, zygote, chromosomal study, infantile uterus, endocrinal treatment to elaborate on but I know for sure that’s its cerebral and phrenic (something to do with intelligence).

I am happy to note that her ‘husband’ supported her in this decision.

Dr Sunil Jindal, the infertility specialist who administered the treatment, said,

“This is something similar to a male delivering twins.”

I am sure it took some medical geniuses and a hefty sum of money to make her dreams of having a child come true. Mentions of this marvel will be chiselled in bronze in medical encyclopaedias worldwide. Generations of students will look back and read about this with awe and wonder. Eons later, people will still equate the team who made this possible with Charaka or Shushruta (ancient physicians from the Subcontinent). The doctors will earn awards, no doubt, and will be felicitated worldwide. They might even win Nobel Prizes.

What I do not understand is, was all this required in the first place?  Could ‘she’ not have accepted gracefully (not resigned to) her fate and just adopted a child from one of the thousands of orphanages that exist today?

It’s totally understandable if she might not want to spend on ‘outside’ blood and wanted her ‘own’, but I am sure she could have found a needy family from her own community who would have given her one of their own for some money. For the money the very-much-in-love couple spent on treatments, she could have fed scores of orphanages year long.

I know this might sound harsh, but she must have undergone these painful procedures, the emotional and physical trauma, the expectations, the hopes, the disappointments… to prove to the world that she was not ‘barren’ (excuse my use of such a strong, rustic, cruel, derogatory term) and ‘won’ in the end but was the money and time well spent ? Was it absolutely necessary to bring two more souls onto this, already overcrowded, planet? I understand that this may be a question personal to the parents, but as a citizen of this world, I believe I am forced to ask those parents thinking of adopting this path. Do the orphans of this world deserve no life, love or future? Should we not look after what we have first and then plan ahead?

I accept that it is a triumph of technology, a true medical achievement, but does it have to be just about technology all the time?

I have my doubts.

Feel free to give your opinion  on this subject. 

Street dogs et al.

We had a dog for more than a decade. My brother’s friend had a litter of four puppies but was chastised by his mother for overcrowding the house, and hence he was forced to give the pups away. Sunnu brought one of his pups to our house when it was only five-days-old. We had never had any pet before so it was a novelty for everyone, including our extended family.

The pup was a cute, cuddly, fluff ball, all white with just a hint of black. Initially, we called him Snoopy, for a few days, as he would snoop around the house and sniff everything. However, Snoopy soon became Snowy – blame Tintin comics for that.

We never realised how or when he became our family member.

Needless to say, mum had put in lot of hard work schooling him. She took him to the vet to get sanitised, to the dog-trainers to coach him, cleaned up his mess when there were ‘accidents’ in our living room and did a lot more. We would only play with him once we came back from school. Truth be told, Sunnu did take some responsibility by taking him for his evening strolls and the likes, but majority of his tutelage was under mum. He was instructed to go on the streets in selected places and relieve himself. Since he was neutered, he never created much noise and nuisance during the mating period. He was a quiet and good dog.

The above picture shows an ageing Snowy lazing in our backyard. Photo: Supriya Arcot

His mood depended on our moods.

He would be sullen when he knew that something was amiss in the house, like one of us getting a scolding for achieving low marks. He would jump, frolic and play when we were happy. He would be silent when it was time for our favourite TV serial. He would quietly crawl to his favourite place (under the dining table) when he knew that we were studying for our exams or had guests over.

When we were on holidays, we would send him to the vet (who kept kennels) who would charge us per day for keeping him. Sometimes, when it was a short vacation, we would send him to the driver’s house for safeguarding. He was only too happy to keep the dog for some extra money. When we used to come back, he’d ‘hug’ us with his hairy paws and give a strange kind of whimper. It was much later that we realised that it was his way of ‘crying’ out of happiness.

Time passed, we grew up and soon it was time to fly out of the nest. Snowy had to be content with fewer familiar faces around him, even if (for weeks together) it meant only my mother. Gradually, he resigned himself to spending more and more time with ‘outside’ folks. Then one fine day, we got the news of his death. About how he went to sleep and never woke up. He had just withered away. The folks who were guarding him managed to give him a decent burial. He died (what’s known commonly as) a dog’s death; without us, alone and lonely, pining for his family.

We missed him like anything. We could not help think that it would have been better if we had put him to sleep instead of leaving him with outsiders who were not trained to take care of animals.

Dogs and humans are alike. They need a lot of attention and nurturing. Without heedfulness, they go adrift. While I totally agree that killing any animal is wrong for reasons other than to eat, I feel animals are better off when ‘put away’ in some cases.

The government has already made tried and tested rules to domesticate dogs or cats. If anyone wishes to keep any dog as a pet, they have to get it verified (sterilised) and must have a medical certificate issued by a veterinary doctor. This information is included in the license which should be hung on its neck all the time. Today, either this rule is not publicised enough or has been ignored by the general public. Many domestic pet dogs do not carry any licenses; most do not even have any ribbon or collar to indicate that they’re ‘taken’. So it’s tough to know the health of the ‘pet’.

Stray animals (especially dogs) form a big problem in many towns worldwide. One ribald way of getting rid of unwanted dogs is to hit them on the head with a blunt object, shock them and let them die a slow, numb death. Thankfully, this is not usually done.

The regular way is to collect these street dogs together and pass them through just one electric shock. The death is quick and instantaneous with zero pain. The dead bodies are then burnt or buried depending on the prevailing rules of that region. The personnel handling this operation are well equipped with sterilised gloves and face masks. The general public is well-informed about the dates of such an operation. It’s usually held on a holiday when a majority of the crowd is off the streets.

In Karachi, Pakistan, a large number of stray dogs were recently rounded up and culled. The reason that the local government gave in to such a step was that they were receiving several complaints of dog bites from different segments. While many were outraged by this, I for one was relieved that they were culled and not eliminated by some other inhumane way. Previously, these animals used to get shot dead or fed poisoned meat on the orders of the authorities – both of which were painful. Through culling, the animal doesn’t feel pain and it’s quick.

Pakistani municipal workers dispose of a pile of dog carcasses in a suburb of Karachi on February 11, 2015. Photo: AFP

When it comes to dog culling, the most common question asked by those against it is, if your own mother was a burden, would you have her killed too?

Such a question is absurd in many ways.

My mother is not a pet. She does not carry germs in her mouth. She does not chase, scare and harass children from playing on the roads. She does not scavenge the garbage bins and spread dirt and diseases around. My mother does not pick fights with her own ilk and engage in full throated brawls and howls in the dead of the night.

So comparing my mother with a dog is not only inappropriate, it is downright illogical.

I have read about the stray dogs of Moscow. They demonstrate their domesticity by ‘politely’ asking for food. If a dog sees anyone (especially a good-looking girl) having a sandwich, it goes to her quietly, puts his paw on her leg and keeps looking at her with woebegone eyes, without barking, slowly whining, till she’s smitten and gives him her share of the sandwich or whatever else she can spare. If she refuses to melt at his forlorn eyes, then he simply strays away to another onlooker.

The dogs travel in packs, taking the subway/metro/tram, to go the main city, scavenge the bins there, have their fill and come back diligently by the trains. While it shows laudable discipline in dog behaviour, I doubt if this is practical in crowded cities with cramped public transport.

Many programs are undertaken by dog lovers to sterilise all the street dogs in some cities. While this is a commendable move, what to do with the new dogs that keep coming to cities every day? It might be utilitarian to sterilise them but what about feeding them and disposal of their ‘waste’ on a daily basis? Remember, I am not talking about domestic dogs. Sterilisation might ‘tame’ them but it sure doesn’t fill their stomachs. Neutered or not, they will go rummaging through dustbins and open sewers, and spread filth and garbage around.

It’s routine for small puppies to come under vehicles zooming by (unintentionally, of course). Then they bleed to a slow and torturous death. Even if the driver has good motives, he might not be able to find an animal hospital nearby. Without having knowledge of medicine himself, the kindest thing he could do in such an unforeseen situation is to leave the puppy by the road.

Surely this is more horrific than dying with just one jolt of electricity.

However, those who are against culling can come up with another solution. They can create awareness and raise money for animal shelters, so that these animals may be catered for. But seeing how resources are often scarce and funds are not continuous, an animal shelters would need a lot of supervision to make it work.

In case animal shelters cannot be managed, instead of wasting resources, I believe dog culling is the best way round. Culling is not equal to crushing mosquitoes or cockroaches. It’s a very humane and well thought-out (and usually, well organised) way of getting rid of stray, street dogs.

To me, it is very similar to euthanasia. If the government (or whoever is advocating stray dog killing) was anti-dogs/heartless/cruel/sadistic, then why would they bother with painless and quick methods, when they could as easily resort to a painful, quick and bloody end? The government and the system cares, and that is why they make it as painless as possible.

Rules are always written keeping in mind some good for the majority. If anyone thinks that a particular rule will have only undesirable results, then it won’t be made into a law at all. In a country where animal shelters are scarce, in fact animal rights are scarce, dog culling is the most humane way of avoiding human tragedy. Before embarking upon your instinct to attack the practice, perhaps reflect on what you may have done had you been in power in a state where resources, and finances, for animal care are limited.

#Stray dogs #street dogs #snowy #pets #culling

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Skin colour ,Racism and all that ...

 few days back, an Indian politician passed a remark about South Indian women being dark.

“Here people are awed by fair skin. Matrimonial ads also ask for fair skinned brides.”

He further added,

“In the entire country, there are more saanvle (dark-skinned) men. The women of South are beautiful, their bodies… their skin… We don’t see it here.”

Perhaps he said it as a joke or perhaps he spoke carelessly without realising. Whatever the case may be, it led to a predictable barrage of reactions from foreseeable corners; feminists, anti-racists, anti-fair skin activists and the anti-sexists.

However, I felt this hype and attention was unwarranted. Truth be told, he never insinuated that dark meant ugly. Let me clarify, I am not defending the remarks made by this individual. I am merely listing the salient arguments from all angles on the age-old debate between fair and dark-skinned individuals.

Starting from the Rig Vedic period, people have prayed for health, cattle, war loot, numerous wives, children and clear white skin. Umpteen recipes are mentioned in the ancient texts for long and lustrous hair, sparkling teeth, jet black eyes, and above all, fair skin. Innumerable mantras and slokas are written and chanted when one is born with clear and fair skin.

Many people attribute skin colour to our ancient caste system. Over a period of time, at least in the North, the upper-most caste of priests came to be associated with fair skin. Brown-skinned people were co-related to meagre jobs, such as cleaning, skinning animals and tannery.

On the contrary, in a few remote villages of South India, a dark girl is preferred for marriage because it is believed that she will not hesitate to go out in the fields, sweat under the scorching sun while tending to cattle without worrying about getting tanned. A fair-skinned girl is generally understood to be cocooned at home and is not fancied on the marriage market.

I for one disagree with colour-based discrimination. Inhabitants of a certain region carry a certain skin tone. Individuals from areas further away from the tropical region, such as individuals from the north, are fairer in comparison to their southern counterparts. Fair and dark-skinned individuals exist in all castes and religions. Therefore, skin colour should not even be an issue. It is just a geographical marker.

But mankind, by nature, is never content with what it has.

In the West, truckloads are spent on bronzing and tanning treatments. Worldwide, girls with wavy hair go for expensive hair straightening treatments. Women with straight, limply hair want extra volume and waves, hence they spend a lot on shampoos that increase their volume. Salons and spas are filled with women, as well as men, wanting to change or enhance their appearances, such as shaping their eyebrows or getting a double chin reduction.

On top of all this, there has been a massive boom in the cosmetology sector. Plastic surgeons are booked to the hilt with clients wanting to restructure their cheeks or other bone structures. Today, it has become a common place practice to opt for a toe or rib removal – the procedure is as long as office lunch hours – just to fit into the latest Jimmy Choo pair of shoes or a Versace gown. Tattooing and piercing are just some of the unusual things people do to enhance their looks.

Since time immemorial, people are known to have resorted to extremes to get the ‘perfect body.’ The Chinese system of foot binding is believed to develop strong vaginal muscles due to the small steps they take, which enhances the carnal pleasure of a newly married couple. Thus, small feet gradually began being identified with attractiveness.

Today, the building of the ruptured hymen, which could be due to a sports injury as well, is a common procedure. Creams for vaginal shrinking and whitening are available in many super markets.

However, all these aspects come with their own brand of double standards.

If a girl uses recipes for whitening her skin, provided to her by her grandmother, like turmeric or saffron, only then will she be termed an old-fashioned girl. If she buys the same product produced by a multinational company, she is bombarded with the usual salacious comments associated with racism, vanity and narcissism.

My mother was worried about my marriage prospects since I was brown skinned. I confess that I too used to apply Fair and Lovely in my high school days. But I must have looked like an awkward multi-coloured parrot with a fair face and dark hands and knees. I realised my folly and stopped soon after. Eventually, I did get married to someone who incidentally is several shades lighter than me. I suppose he preferred my personality over my skin colour.

Traditionally, fair skin has been associated with purity, innocence, vulnerability and modesty, whereas dark skin has been associated with virility, danger and machismo. Little wonder that women want tall, dark and handsome husbands and men want fair and dainty maidens as wives.

A person should be free to decide how he or she wishes to look like. Majority, if not all, of the people favouring for fairness creams are educated. The demand is so much that now fairness creams for men have also started doing well.

When extreme procedures, such as changing the shape of your body, hair transplants, liposuction, skin tightening and peeling can be done, why are we so touchy when it comes to skin “colouring”?

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