Bleeding and all that ... #HappyToBleed

My two cents on Bleeding .

 Menstruation has become a very popular debate of talk in the last few days suddenly , thanks  to the  ongoing subject  of #HappyToBleed.  Here are my two cents on this issue .

 In tropical climates like that of the subcontinent,  the average age  of ‘maturity’  is 12  . In colder climates its around 16 or more .  I came of age at  11 . I remember my mother trying to tell me ‘something’  (  but mostly she managed to mutter and murmur )   the past few days before  . It did puzzle me that my father suddenly went away on this long mysterious office tour and could not be seen for several weeks to come .

 In my school , girls would talk about this and I knew about this but not in detail .  Luckily one visiting  ,younger aunt was by my side when this happened and to this day I thank the lords above for her presence then and there .  She took care of me through this new testing time  , talked me  over  this    changeover chapter of my life and was with me through out for several months  to the extent of dropping me to school and getting me back home .
Even to this day ,  I wish my mum  had been more communicative .

It came as a shock suddenly  ( I will spare you the gory details ) and  it took me a long long time to come to terms with  my new ‘ bloomed’  status .  

Since times immemorial, this has been a subject of hush hush talk .  

 Of late while watching an advertisement  on sanitary napkins my 10 year old daughter told me  with a knowledgeable face  “ I know what this is . This is adult girls’  nappy. When  big girls continue to do pipi in bed they wear this like  we used to wear  as babies . “.

Sigh ..Very soon its going to be time for The  TALK with her .  I am gearing up for it but my job will be easier than my mum’s . They have counseling and advising sessions in the school today .

Many of our daily activities are associated with  strict religions rituals and monthly menses is no exception .

 Menstruation women are  not allowed in public places like Temples etc.,.   even to this day .

 Temples ( or any religious places ) like Shabarimala  ( Kerala )  / Maula Ali ( Hyderabad ) are atop a  hill and  were surrounded by dense jungles  inhabited by dangerous carnivorous animals   Devotees had  to undergo an arduous journey  on hard  sloppy  rocks to reach the top  in the pre -public  -transport   days . 

A menstruating woman is going to  find it very difficult  to  endure this  course which can last upto several days . Added to that ,  the animals  might get restless with  these smells  exuding from her and come too close for comfort  .  The  beasts and birds have a more sharp sense of smell than us humans .

Not only in the subcontinent , but  in many regions  over the world , the traditional houses had a small room built with a small window in a secluded portion with one  stone bed . The door directly led to the well  /lake which was at the back of the  house .  She was not  supposed to come inside the house for 3   days  and had to eat / sleep / bath  in her own room . 
In Hindu households , She had to eat the 5 elements of purity ( called Panchakari ) which included cow urine / cow dung  and only then enter the main house .  Its reasonable , because cow urine is a disinfectant .
I am sure , in other cultures too, there are such  dietary requirements .

 Some families make the  daughter-in-law have a small piece of Tamarind before she has her 3rd  day ceremonial bath and can face her husband .   Tamarind  is supposed to evaporate blood .  A piece of this is meant to stop the blood flow totally and the  'bleeder' is deemed fit again for 'family  life' . 
Because of this blood-absorbing quality ,  too much of this  spice is  considered too bad in daily cooking . 

Fresh flowing blood  provides a  fertile ground for germs .  Those days there was no  concept of hot running water / disinfectant hand washes / disposable sanitary napkins .   Things like Pickles and papads have to last the entire year . If they come in contact with a girl in her period then chances are that it will contact fungus and rot .  

Imagine a slitty eyed mother in law  asking her  timid daughter in law to rest during  whatever time of the month or year  . The latter will  be given heavy grinding or  pounding  on a daily basis and ‘such’ times  would be no exception The  mother in law  is more prone to leave her daughter in law alone when threatened with spreading  dirtiness or  angering the gods  .

Not only religious   beliefs, this  subject   also has some fantasies and legends associated with it .  Some of my friends from other religions say that  intercourse during such times results in  Jinn like babies with wings or pointed ears .  In the Indian mythology , Draupadi the heroine of Mahabharata was menstruating when the game of dice was going on . Hence she was wearing just one piece of cloth and was waiting for her ritual bath in the ladies chamber .     So she refused to come and face the elders of the  family when called politely the first time  .  Her refusal enraged  the  villain of the piece and he sent his brother to drag her by hair .  The elders of the house  apparently  felt the sight of a woman with dirty stained cloth more revolting than the fact that she was a princess and was  being dragged into a men’s  assembly by her own brother in law.

 I am not a doctor I have heard that a woman’s bleeding helps her from  many problems like BP / heart attacks etc., due to the  circulation of  fresh blood .

In my past several decades of being an  ‘adult woman’  , not once have I heard any one say monthly  bleeding is a ‘bad thing ‘. They did say its something separate or  confidential .   I feel its  definitely something to be kept  private and not bandied about in public . 

Some time back , there was an Instagram picture  of a girl menstruating whose face was turned towards the wall and she was sleeping in a curled position with her back side sticking out and a bit of blood glaringly showing on her light grey pant . there was a spate of politically correct articles and blogs supporting this photo .

 I  ,  for one , found the photo  revolting . its like saying don’t cringe or revolt when I show you picture  of my other  ‘so-called’ offensive secretions like phlegm /  mucus or …. I leave the rest to your imagination ... 

There is no need to overtly publicize such a daily natural activity loudly .  Today houses and families are getting smaller . They have inbuilt shower rooms / sanitary bins with aromatic bin liners attached / disposable  smell free napkins  come in small discreet packets . If the woman of the house ‘sits out ‘ then who will take care of    her work  in her small individual family of 4 -5 members ? So its practical that she wears a discreet tampoon or pad and goes around her daily duties  in a routine manner. 
 Rules and regulations  are always made for someone's good and security . When they say women in productive age should not enter a temple ( say like Shabarimala ) its for her protection.    Over a period of time  some might get obsolete . One must change with changing times , of course. 
Present-day , We have regular awareness programs in schools / colleges / TV  for girls to prepare them for this natural transition of their  youth. 

Its  a good thing that  the taboos and  secrecy surrounding a woman’s bleeding are withering away    thought I must admit I don't  approve   of     blatant  exhibition  of agape  pads or tampoons  .   

#sabarimala  #Menstuation  #Bleeding #MaulaAli